All in life must balance itself in some way or other, I tend to find. Yesterday I had the most shocking awful riding lesson in about a year on the lovely Rocky. I have only ridden him twice before and both times found him a wonderful little horse....a push button pony they would call him if he was a little shorter in stance. Not last night however, as I struggled with canter transitions for fully 40 minutes on him. As my difficulties turned to despair my technique went from bad to worse, and I wound up looking like I was dancing the funky chicken on his back. So badly wrong and so humiliating -I don't take failure well in any aspect of my life, if ever there is a chink in my armour, this is it.I dismounted sweaty, with cramp in my right calf and ready to chuck in riding all together....whats the point, thought I, if I am still as poorly as this after all this time? What if I am one of those riders who can only ever ride a great horse. Is that a bad thing?
Anyhow, last nights despair over, the dark cloud has passed and today I took to paper and effortlessly drew a pen and ink of a gorgeous horse called Hudson. It was just one of those days you sit and draw, no hesitation or indecision.... do they call it 'flow'? Whatever it is I was in the zone.
I wondered how one thing I love can come so easy and another thing I love feel so impossibly hard.....then I realised that this was just the artists equivalent of a good riding day. Now I just have to relish the moment and hold onto the feeling....... magic.
Maybe I could bottle it and sell it on my Etsy as handmade elixir of creativity?
Why do we do it? Like everything in life you have good days and bad and that goes for the lessons we have for ever bad lesson we have several that make you feel like you have achieved a lot and you are a good rider. You are not the only one who gives themselves a hard time and does not trust their own ability. Kerry did say that Rocky was young and it was hard thing to do. My horse Bobby was as stubborn as a mule and I just looked like one of those dolls you used to get with a pull string that made their arms and legs move. Next week I bet we have a better lesson however knowing Kerry she will make us work.
ReplyDeleteThe drawing of Harrison is really good like it a lot.
Yes, she will make us work, that's for sure.
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